| My Aaron Davis On 1/19/2007 4:33:00 AM, Mike wrote : | Viewed : 211 |
| I know…It's been about a million years since I've written. Quite honestly, there hasn't been too much to write about. Well, ok, that is hardly true, but most of the stuff that has happened has been more of the same and less new. I've been feeling a bit stirred up as of late. Like I was asleep and just kinda going from day to day. The days have seemed to fade from one day to the next. It might be my horrible memory or just the lack of something meaningful in my life. I sat down and watched Latter Days tonight due to once again having a horrible bout of insomnia. The problem with movies like that is that it tugs at my heart strings and makes me feel all mixed up inside like I am doing something wrong. Right now, my Aaron Davis is probably at home sleeping. He'll get up tomorrow, go to work, and I will probably talk to him on his way home. I feel like I've been searching and I would really like to stop that search. I am kinda hoping that this is the case! It's terribly difficult to continually chase a dream that, in reality, is totally unrealistic and will probably will never come true. I think for the first time in a long time I am enjoying being myself. Though as always with a dash of uncertainty for good measure. Well, maybe I am just worrying about it too much. At least I know that my Aaron Davis actaully likes me back. (How do I know? Well, cause he told me) If you are lost "Aaron Davis" is a character in the movie. Mine isn't in any of the same circumstances and actually the movie comparision is hardly close, but I just didn't want to jinx it and put his name here. But he knows who he is! Part of me wants to run and part of me wants to stay planted right here. I guess after traveling, a bit of the wanderer was awakened. Something my sister seems to have in abundance. (I love you Leslie, and even if you do move to Denver). Maybe my Aaron will be the inspiration I need to go beyond my safety net and live a bit "outside the box". (He'll laugh when he reads this, because we were talking about this tonight) ;) Part of me is worried that I will be too scared to go and he'll leave me here. But I think that with a little faith and a smile, I know I can do anything. I guess we live our lives just trying to find whatever it is that we are searching for. I just wish that I knew WHAT I was searching for! Maybe it is the sense of belonging? That warmth of love? The urgency of being needed? Or of just being wanted? What is funny is that I am sitting here, in bed, without a stitch on thinking about all the songs that talk about being up at 3am and feeling a bit lost. Maybe those songs were written for me? Or maybe, just maybe, we all feel like this sometimes and somehow some can say it better than others? If you only do one thing today…Tell someone that you care about them. Or even be more bold and tell them you love them. None of us say it enough... I love you all…..Mike | |