| Sappy Movies and feeling alive On 12/23/2004 10:21:00 PM, Mike wrote : | Viewed : 478 |
| I sat and watched a movie called Jack tonight. I do not know how I manage to go around not feeling anything most of the time. But it seems like I need a good jolt now and then to remember to not walk around like a zombie feeling nothing. I think I hide behind the humor and the constant bitchiness in an effort to keep from having to feel anything more than just a hazy grey lull. (If there even is such a thing). I watched my friends at the Christmas party all go in and have a good time. I sat from the sidelines admiring everyone else having a good time, but feeling removed from the entire situation. I even tried having a few drinks; but for a very close call, I would have been passed out on the floor but 10pm. Oh yeah, back to Jack. Jack is a teenager whose parents have separated and is going through the tribulations of his mom’s live in boyfriend and his father’s live in boyfriend. (Yeah, you read that right). The main character monologues through the entire movie taking still shot of the moment and critiquing them in a way.. its very Dawson’s Creek. I wonder who I am angry at? It seems that most of the time when you have a character like myself in a movie, there is something more that they need to figure out/discover. Someone once told me that “I don’t know isn’t an acceptable answer to any question, because the truth is that you do know and you’re just too scared to say it outloud”. (10 points if you know who) Maybe I need to quit hiding behind the “I don’t know” and get on with my life. What truly scares me, I don’t remember the last time I was truly happy. And if for nothing else at the moment, it makes me sad to know that. Least I feel something. God the holidays get me down. | |